Saturday, August 11, 2012

its not always me.....

its 2 o clock in night,
 and i am feeling cold..cold not like only temperature, cold in feelings also..options, choices, prophecies, all they really exits? does my future tomorrow really depend on my choices taken today? may be, maybe not..if its prophecy, its not miracle, not a co-incidence…nothing in my own hand to control, if its not, am controlling my future,.. i will  go with the second option, sarcastically i am having choices now, i am choosing not to choose anymore…i am feeling not to feel anymore…i am dying of getting dead everyday..i am living but not a life anymore…my existence is not existing in this has one more world..full of dreams, imaginations, power to control myself, and themselves, whom i want to control, again whom i don't want to control, i am controlling them by giving them their own control…seems all are different frames of views, its what i want to interpret things..i can put my own reasons behind every miracle, incident and consequence, i can put my own name after myself, but most of the time, i have to put my name after him which is not true myself…i put my name after one person, who sometimes behave like myself, sometime not…who sometime talk like myself sometimes not..who sometimes, dream like myself sometimes not…still i put my name after him…as its myself, and at-least i have my power of controlling myself, my thought my dream, not always, but sometime, not sometime but the time i let myself to control..i know now you think, its something confusing, but if its confusing, you are already confused, and if you are already confused, you are not here, you are somewhere else, if you are somewhere else, and not here and confused, then you are not reading this, if you are not reading this you are not confused, then why you are blaming me to make you confuse? confused huh? 

its not me, its you who are out of control, i can still type my name here, as i said after myself, my dream my creation…i can even take my name out, like i haven't create this things, like i am somebody else, and that other-one is creating this. logics are the base of our intelligence and our base of logic is our intelligence, i am not playing that game, like who comes first chicken or egg? but somebody came first, its doesn't matter anymore who comes first, as both of them taking same importance , and without one other is incomplete, its not worth of fight, who loves whom most, fight is who will end this first,…this sweetness, this imagination, this dream i am now totally involved, this pathetic things should get end…it should be vanished from my life, from my dream…its not nightmare, it doesn't come only at night…because, at night i cant sleep..its my time to regenerate the memories, making them sweet sometime, sometime bitter, sometime happy, sometime sad, sometime is not always effective, still i try i try to convince myself with better prediction of myself…still at the end, its not me its you…who make me like this..if i am insane, its you who are to be blamed..if i am pathetic its you who found that first..if i am romantic, its you who gonna have me that way..if i am dead its for you, i am dyeing…if am living its for you, still breathing,,,if i am in love..its because of you…who exists!